I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Our family had a rough Summer and I think I did myself a disservice by forcing myself to bounce back too quickly. I didn't want to burden anybody with my pain, fear. or anger. I spent a lot of time focusing on my family and my business but ended up burnt out and exhausted. I've slowed down a lot and my husband and I have spent a lot of time praying about where to go from here.
All of these decisions became crystal clear when a friend of ours lost his 13 month battle to Brain Cancer, he was three. Our family drove to Dallas and attended the Celebration of Life Service. I sat in the church pew and cried as we sang some of the little boy's favorite songs. I hurt for this family and the fact that they won't see their sweet little boy this side of Heaven ever again. However, I am so happy that he is no longer in pain. There will be no more radiation, chemo, surgeries, or other treatments.
God spoke very clearly to me during that service. He called me on the carpet for my easy peasy life. I balk when the pain comes. I try to find a way out of it. I really dislike pain. Yet, with the pain comes the refining so that I am a newer image; a Kelli 2.0. I am not promised a life of ease on this Earth and I need to quit trying to find the easy pain free way of life.
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